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Sexual Assault, why a public hearing was harmful to this country.

US cost for victimized crime is over $127 billion more than other crimes (excluding children)

91% of sexual assault victims are women and 9% are men

81% women and 35% men report short and long-term PTSD

325,000 children per year are at risk of exploitation

90% of sexual assault victims on college campuses do not report

2/3 of college students experience sexual harassment

Only 12% of children sexually abused is reported

Only 2% and 10% are false accusations

96% of the predators are male

The number of women represented in Washington DC in the sexual assault protest is a small number of such a large problem.  As a survivor myself watching the public hearing created anxiety for me and so many others.  Unwanted stress due to the continuation of coverage for so many reliving being victimized with every relatable word spoken by Dr. Ford.  No matter the outcome guilty or not, publicized allegation of sexual assault on such a large platform was traumatizing to some many.  Don’t get me wrong to some of us it was also encouraging to break the silence.  What happens to those that haven’t gotten to the point of face it, speak it, heal from it?  Turn off the television you say! That is a great idea, but it’s on your cellular phone and the hot topic of the water cooler.  Those that don’t understand, cannot show empathy, or walked in the shoes of a sexual assault victim will not allow themselves to know the mental breakdown of being violated in such away it takes you to a dark place of lack of self-worth.  Publicly making fun, saying, or writing hateful comments does not just victimize the accuser it victimizes all the men and women that may have been assaulted.  Revictimizing can lead to a why mind set. Why should I come forward? Why won’t anyone believe me?  Why won’t anyone listen?

I am going to take you into my mind after being raped as a young adult.  I felt lost, violated, ashamed, loss of self-worth, loss of self-control, dirty and guilty questioning myself and action that lead up to being date raped.  That lead me to depression, isolation, control issues, trust issues, suicidal thoughts and follow through, self-medicating, in addition to violent out-burst.  I kept silent out of fear for my children and myself, guilt, retaliation, and denial.  If I denied it, it wasn’t true and I can go on me with my life.  One day I had to relieve it all over again including being molested as a young child.

Vocal and non-vocal sexual assault victims were given a setback in their healing because something so private was made so public.  All the intimate details exposed to the world and not by your choice the same way each of us were violated NOT by CHOICE.

I hope soon this becomes a learning experience for not just this country but all over the world of how not handle sexual assault allegation.

Statistic source: nsvrc.org

Stand

Trees and plants lets take a stand for what we believe in and God set us all on a path to achieve if you just believe that we were all put here for greatness not hatred that is being displayed as these kids scream out I want to be saved! I’m amazed! At the behavior of some adults that should be leading and not judging the way these kids behave. Help me! Help me! Is what I here our children say. Please stand with me God cry out to thee. Please, just believe that with unity we all can achieve our dreams.

Let’s Talk

“There is a reason for everything we have to find its purpose”

What is the purpose of our children’s behavior?

“Stop tattle telling,”  Has anyone heard that before?  Do those words affect us from childhood?

The Silent Destruction

We as a people live in a society that teaches our children not to talk. (i.e snitch)  From childhood some children are told to stop tattle telling, then by middle school they are told “snitches get stitches.”  These words may stick with some children in addition to being fearful of their predator. But what happens when your daughter or son is molested or raped?  What happen’s if your child is physically abused?  They may have even been a witness to inappropriate behavior.  They become scared victims.  Not victims of just someone else’s action, but eventually victims of their own behavior.  They start fighting themselves mentally until it spills out in their homes and/or neighborhoods. How can we provide open communication, be tentative and notice when our children just don’t seem like his or her self?

Let’s talk about it!  How can we help our children fill safe or comfortable enough to speak openly without feeling judged about their actions or home situation?  The platform for internal healing starts with us as parents, teachers, counselors and mental health therapist.  Let’s Talk!

My First Blog

love and encouragement

This is my first post.  I created this blog to provide a voice to the voiceless, love to the love less and worth to our women and children.  The sunset and rise in our lives each and every day.  The rolling waters of our lives can sometimes overwhelm us, but the love and encouragement we can provide to one another can help us through.  Recognizing some elses flows is easy to talk about, but have you ever asked yourself WHY?  Why do we do the things we do, move the way we move and behave the way behave.  This a judgement free zone.  Putting yourself in some elses shoes can help you learn to love a perfect stranger through their problems by just saying Hello.  It’s Free!  You are not alone through your life trials and tribulations.

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